I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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