help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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