dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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