This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
