a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
