just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
