sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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