you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
