Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
