Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
