so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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