I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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