We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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