when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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