At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
