so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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