I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
