No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
