We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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