Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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