real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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