At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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