yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
