you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My breasts were aching with rage.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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