stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
PS: I just woke up from my shower
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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