its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
