just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it glows. i had to have it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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