WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
