so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
