so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
