I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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