at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize