The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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