It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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