I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
