you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
