I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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