Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
All I want is dick and wine.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
