Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
