did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize