Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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