Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
