Soap is not a condiment
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have aggressive nipples.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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