Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
