Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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