So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
