Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
