I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize