Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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