I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
