didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
