Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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