I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
