Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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