All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
