After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
