I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
