windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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